What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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