so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
