My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
