Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
