I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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