Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Please, let me fuck your mom
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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