I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
