Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
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