Barsexuality is the new black.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
