The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
