dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
