"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
