sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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