we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
