I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
