you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
