nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
