This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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