Define "chronic" masturbator.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize