Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
