She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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