Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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