I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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