we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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