It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
