i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
