Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize