dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
