Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
