Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he thought i was a dude.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
