It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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