is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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