definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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