forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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