Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
