he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
