just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
