Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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