sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize