My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
