it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
