Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize