Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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