I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
