that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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