His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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