Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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