it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
