Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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