he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
