Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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