somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
