You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
