Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
