ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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