I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize