Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
