She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
