The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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