finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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