im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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