She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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