your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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