Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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