I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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