Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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