Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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