i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
