Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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