yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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