His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
