Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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