I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
