Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
