i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
