Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize