I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
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