THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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