i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
