So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
