All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
