peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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